Yes! The people most responsible for the behaviour and development of kids are...their parents. So says Mary Bousted, general secretary of the Association of Teachers and Lecturers. I caught the title "'Parents to blame' for problems in UK schools" on guardian.co.uk this week and I could not help but read. Comments on the article seemed to be in favour of the notion.
This is, of course, in response to growing difficultly in UK school systems with anti-social behaviour, etc. I have no statistical support to give here, but from experience I can affirm the notion that more and more kids seem to be unhinged from a healthy relationship with authority and social relating. But my point here is not to detail "how bad things are" with the youth of our generation (we are by no means the first to deal with rebellious children). I am more interested in why kids go the way they go...whether positvely or negatively.
I have thought for some time now that disproportionate attention is given to the tweaking and re-engineering of educational structures, classroom procedures and teacher and school regulations. When things are not going well...when kids seem uninterested, unable to relate well with teachers and fellow classmates...when bullying is on the rise...we often want a reform of the educational and classroom system. I'm not suggesting that educational approaches should not be scrutinized and improved upon over time. What I am suggesting is that we often skip over the most obvious factor in child behaviour and development.
I cannot ignore the church in this area. I sense that much pressure is put on our children and youth workers to entertain and engage with kids that are increasingly inattentive. When things don't seem to be going so well, it is a newer, more dynamic curriculum or leader we call for. Rarely do we ask if more emphases should be placed on discipling parents in their parenting. I believe this is an enormously underdeveloped area in Christian formation in churches.
(In case you haven't guessed by my semi-rant) I am a firm believer that the fundamental avenue for heathly child development is parent and family dynamics. I feel I cannot state that strongly enough. The role of a father and mother in a child's life could not be more significant and has infinitely more impact on development and growth than any school, teacher, or system could ever have. If parents increasingly seek to delegate their responsibilities to teachers and schools, it would not be surprising that negative results occur.
It cannot be overlooked the fundamental importance of family in scripture. That in the very existence of God the relationship of Father and Son is so prominent shows that the parent/child dynamic is not a human construct, nor is it a marginal factor. As we start to re/embrace the responsibility of parenthood and family relationships as integral to the life of discipleship, I believe we can expect the work of the Spirit to form the image of the Father/Son relationship in our lives as well. I realize that many parents (including my own) have lived faithfully to Lord in raising children. Nevertheless, I believe that the pressures and trends of the broader culture require a re-addressing of these things in our time. As a young parent myself, it inspires in me a sense of holy soberiety.
Sunday, April 05, 2009
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
Posts
3 comments:
Daniel, you're beginning to sound like an old man complaining about the "corruption of the youth" ;-).
But it is interesting that so many people comment on and insist on a change in the educational structure. I read in an article somewhere that this is true in the U.S. particularly because it's our one and only socialized government system (no socialized health care, etc.), so everybody has ideas of how it "should" be.
Not to mention, of course, that no parents want to take responsibility for their own children at home. Since my wife is finishing her MA in Pedagogy, I experience a LOT of this first-hand.
I was also going to bring up parents in the church, before I saw that you did! Parents leave all the God-rearing to "Sunday school" and "youth groups."
I've seen this first-hand even among the clergy, which is particularly troubling.
I am most certainly NOT complaining about "the corruption of the youth." More accurately, I'm pointing out (in rant fashion, I concede) the corruption of parents and parenting.
It would be interesting to get Amy's take on these things. I can only imagine the growing pressure which teachers experience. Perhaps you could coax here into actually submitting a comment of her own ;)
Of course my first port of call is the church since that is my context. I am increasingly aware of the inability of church programs and strategies to handle what only parents can truly fulfill in the lives of children and youth. I want to give some more thought as to how we can develop something of a theology of parenting which would see it as a key (not a marginal) aspect of Christian formation.
Good article Daniel. I think you actually touched on an even more interesting topic in this area with your comment to Chachi. Many parents, at least from the Christian arena, can rely too heavily on the church for their children's spiritual growth, education and development. This is just as much a disaster in proper parenting. Of course, public education through schooling and spiritual education through the church are two very helpful supplements, if done correctly. But, in general, our children's development starts in the home at all levels.
Challenging stuff for a father to be.
Post a Comment